Stop Using These 3 Words in 2015!
If you’re ready to live a bigger, better and more fulfilling life in the coming year, take on this challenge: stop using “never,” “always” and “should.”
Immediately – drop these three words from your everyday speech. These three common vocabulary words put you in cage and limit your possibilities. These words build walls between you and opportunity. The more you use them, the thicker the walls become.
Never
For example, you complain about a family member or friend that “he never…gives a compliment, picks up the check, or expresses concern about others….” When you hold to that “never” mindset about someone, you would be unable to see any of his gestures of generosity…they fit nowhere in your preconceived idea about him. When he does express his generous side, his gestures have no place to stick to in your preset perceptions. You’ll limit your ability to see anything new about your friend or family member.
And so it is for “always” and “should,” words that create a rigid way of looking at others, and at yourself.
Always
I know someone who “always” exercises the first thing every morning. If there were a parade going down her street in the a.m., she would miss it if it interfered with her exercise time. Do you think that it is an absolute necessity to follow every routine every day to the letter? Or are there times when flexibility might be take you down a new path that brings more enjoyment, lightness, or inspiration?
Should
I’m leaving the best for last: Don’t “should” on yourself! For many people, “should” is a huge part of their self-talk and everyday vocabulary. You may think you are motivating yourself to work harder or get more done, but the word “should” is punitive and harsh – it can be self-sabotaging instead of motivating.
The more “shoulds” in your life, the less room for “possibility” or “what if?” For example, for years I had shoulds about buying holiday gifts. There were shoulds about who gets a gift and how much money to spend on presents to name just two common shoulds.
Giving gifts felt like a duty and obligation and not fun at all. So what if I give your dog a Xmas present and not you? Have I violated some rule that will get me in trouble? Not at all. I really had to let go of the shoulds so I could have more fun (and my family gets more interesting, personal and spot-on presents.)
Change Your Words – Change Your Life
It took me a long time to be willing to look around with fresh eyes. I had to learn about the value of making room for chance, so it could lead me down more interesting paths. Now I see how much I would have missed out on if I kept my eyes straight ahead, thinking there is only one right way, the way circumscribed by the words never, always and should.
Make 2015 the year when you change your words and change your life.
Happy holidays!
To your success,
Marsha
