Do You Believe “Opposites Attract?”

Have you noticed that it’s not unusual to partner up with someone whose attitudes and beliefs regarding money are different from your own? This could be you and your life partner or your business partner.

Is it true that opposites attract? Research shows that people are drawn to others with whom they have more, not less, in common. If that’s the case, where does all this relationship conflict about money come from?

A New Way of Looking at Money and Relationships

While the belief that “opposites attract” is a big part of our romantic mindset, it offers little possibility for opening up your way of thinking about money and relationships. Would you be willing to look at money and relationships from a different point of view? A more nuanced dynamic is at play than opposites attracting each other. Begin with the possibility that you are seeking to be whole, to connect with your authentic purpose and place in the world, and to speak your truth in your precious lifetime.

Here is a new way of looking at money and relationships that has the potential for you to own the buried parts of yourself and live in an authentic relationship with money.

What happens when your path to wholeness and authenticity is blocked? The Spirit in you will bring this wholeness to you in any way it can. Often, your Spirit becomes a little trickster-like and brings you someone who has your “missing pieces.”

For example, my client Janet loved music as a child and still loves music. But when she was growing up, she was told that no one in her family could “carry a tune.” Somewhere inside of her, she accepted the family legacy that she was not musical. Sadly, she let go of her passion to make music and sat on the sidelines. Does it surprise you that she married a musician and now has music in her everyday life? Yet…and here’s the nuance you want to start thinking about…her own spirit was not in balance because what she wanted was to claim her own love and passion for music and express it. Not on the sidelines but front and center. This does not mean she will be a professional musician, although she might join a local amateur chorus or volunteer as a DJ at a local radio station. Since this is a long-buried passion, something that was denied, she wanted to ‘come home to herself’ to be restored to wholeness.

What’s This Got To Do With Money?

Here is a money example that is a composite of several clients, in order to preserve everyone’s anonymity.

Sara and her husband Jake frequently fight about money. They simply can’t agree on spending, saving, priorities and necessities. Sara is awfully frugal. I say awfully because she can be awful to the point of denying herself basic necessities, like spanking new shoes because her old shoes aren’t worn out yet. Or a new winter coat, because it’s December and September is the month you buy new clothes! Her behavior about spending money is a reflection of her buried family money legacy.

Sara has the same behavior patterns in other parts of her life. She doesn’t always let herself rest enough or eat enough fun food. (The same attitudes, beliefs and patterns show up in all parts of your life). So who does she marry – you tell me, it’s on the tip of your tongue. Someone who doesn’t save a penny and who feels justified buying the latest electronic gadget because, “I work so I get to buy what I want.”

This is a match made in heaven by Sara and Jake’s trickster Spirits. Sara needs to loosen up and have fun with money. Jake needs to appreciate the value of saving money and planning for the future. Each brings to the relationship what the other can’t claim for themselves.

Is Resolution Possible?

Sara and Jake have some options. Each can acknowledge how their partner brings to the relationship a missing part they want to reclaim. OR Sara and Jake can dig deeper into their own learned attitudes and family legacies about money. Both Sara and Jake can individually release limiting beliefs to find freedom and wholeness within themselves. Taking both steps would completely resolve the conflict, allowing them to be in partnership around money.

What if you don’t have a cooperative partner? Or any partner right now with whom you can work with? Why wait? Your freedom, happiness, and wealth are calling to you. You can choose to heal your family money legacy now.

Please stay tuned!

ACTION STEP

Do you have money conflicts in any of your partnerships? Name one money conflict you would like to resolve.

Marsha Lichtenstein Ph.D. is a certified Money Breakthrough coach.