We’re moving closer to the end of the year. I am too busy, too much on my plate. Before we wind up 2019, I want to finish up everything on my list—work, family, house, and health projects, as well as odds and ends. Amid all this busyness, I either rush through my daily rituals or abandon them altogether. I need to remind myself why rituals make me healthier and happier.
The Difference between Rituals and Routines
Rituals are ancient customs, and they continue to be essential to us today. We can find many religious rituals that are designed to bring people together to participate in a communal ceremony. A familiar ritual is the lighting of candles. Although this is a simple action, lighting candles is intentional and has a clear purpose, traditionally, to demarcate the beginning of prayer or meditation.
In our private lives, we can use rituals to calm us, help us focus, motivate us, or create a sense of order. Sometimes we get to see athletes or celebrities use rituals to boost their confidence or dissolve fear. For example, some athletes wear lucky socks. Basketball players bounce the ball a set number of times before taking a free throw. Behind the scenes, actors and speakers may shake their hands using large, rapid motions to clear away negative energy or unnecessary thoughts.
Most of us start our days with routines, not rituals. We wake up: we wash our face, brush our teeth, and put on our favorite bathrobe. Then we drink a cup of coffee. When we begin our day in this way, we are operating on automatic. We don’t have to spend time thinking about our routine. It is a comfortable way to start the day in a familiar way. Like rituals, routines that make up our morning habits provide a sense of order and predictability.
On the other hand, rituals are intentional. While they also provide a sense of order and predictability, they can connect us to a deeper part of ourselves, what I call our inner guidance. They also bring us closer to a power greater than ourselves—some aspect of the divine or the original source of all being. We use intentional rituals to become focused, find a place of calm and peace within ourselves, and clear away any negative thoughts or worries. They can bring us awareness of the present moment so we can go into the world in a more integrated way.
During the day, we accumulate a lot of mental garbage. Because rituals help us shift from one physical or emotional space to a different state of being, we can use rituals at various points in the day. We can use ritual when we transition from work to home, or at the end of the day as we prepare for sleep, to get clear and reconnect with ourselves.
How do you start the day? Do you wake up grumbling about your job, the people you work with, your debts, or other problems? Predictably that is where your focus will remain during the day. Consequently, you won’t see solutions, you’ll miss opportunities to change things for the better, and you will be blind to the small everyday events that bring you joy, for example, your kid wanting to hug you, a really great cup of coffee, or the moon lingering in the morning sky.
My Morning Rituals
I devote the first 40 minutes of my day to morning rituals because they make my day better. I have to get up extra early, but it’s worth it because my morning rituals help me:
- Feel more grounded,
- Start the day with a calm mind,
- Get in touch with my intuition, and
- Bring me clarity about my intention for the day.
When I start my day in this way, I can be much more creative and self-expressive than when I don’t take the time to connect with myself.
My rituals at this time are listed below. I change them when things in my life change or I change. Then, new rituals (or sometimes rituals I have put aside for a while) are more suitable for who I am becoming. For example, for many years, I recited specific affirmations that helped me start my day with courage and self-love. I love affirmations, and I use them frequently— but currently, they are not part of my morning.
What I do:
- I read something spiritual, something that reminds me that I am just a drop in a vast ocean of all living beings.
- I write a list of ten things I am grateful for and why I am thankful for them.
- I meditate for twenty minutes (Just do your best, don’t be critical of yourself, some days my mind just won’t settle down, don’t give up!)
- Then, at this time in my life, I do some stretches from my physical therapist.
My morning rituals support what’s nourishing and beneficial in my life. They affirm my self worth and value: I’m taking the time to be with myself, just as I would be with a friend who needs a little extra attention. They also bring a sense of clarity that lets me go forth with an open mind and an open heart.
I have begun a new evening ritual. I completely shut off all electronics at 9 pm. That includes my phone (don’t call me after 9 pm!), computer, and television. I go to bed and lie down. I mentally review my day and find the things I am grateful for. I say them aloud. Pretty soon, I’m falling asleep. Who knew that gratitude was a sedative!
Do you have a ritual that empowers you? Brings you courage? Inspires you to be of service to others? Or motivates you to take excellent care of yourself today? Perhaps there’s a ritual that you’re interested in trying? Please share your rituals, thoughts, and comments below. Thank you!
